05 April – It was a inner work day. I sat and did a mindfulness meditation. I haven’t for a small bit, and I just wanted the calm quietness after a day of examining my thought/feeling patterns at work.
06 April – Gym day. And TGIF. It felt good to break some mini-goals after the working week. It was also another day of consciously choosing how to respond to external stimuli and not just shift into familiar reaction patterns.
I also wrote the prayer “Who is this flower above me? And what is the work of this God? I would know myself in all my parts.”1 in mt planner so that I would see it on a daily basis.
07 April – I spent some time trying to reconnect with the creative spark within. It has, in the past, been a roaring bonfire, and now feels like a smouldering ember. I have hope that it is still there, because I spent at least 15 minutes sitting and looking at a painting I made this year. I can pull up the feelings of euphoria I felt at just creating in the moment, knowing that there were no mistakes that could not be remedied with another brush stroke.
I also sat with an emotional entanglement and looked at it from my perspective, divorcing myself from thinking about how a decision would make others feel. How they feel is their business, and I cannot keep those considerations from allowing me to move forward into a new life for myself. Oddly enough, my journal pages were filled with doodles of hand mirrors. I’m taking the message.
08 April – Research day! I am ending my 2 week Keto cycle. I’m feeling good — and accomplished! I also am excited because keeping your daily carb limit to 20g is hard. Cutting out all processed junk foods helps tremendously, but it is still something I am educating myself about. I’ll be moving into a 3 week cycle of moderate carbs (50g max) and then doing another 2 week keto cycle. I did weigh myself (early) and have burned up 8 lbs of body fat.
The gym is on hold because my allergies are whooping my butt — it must be spring, the trees are trying to kill me again — but I am doing body weight exercises at home, and using my 8lb medicine ball to do arm toning exercises.
Feri traditional prayer
Post title taken from Paloma Faith’s debut album. Excellent listening, and very good question to ponder.